two years

Somehow, in what feels like an instant, we are talking in years, rather than months, and I have a little

boy, not a baby. And what a little boy he is! He is such a character now, in the most delightful way, and loves to make others laugh. He can be a great mimic, and loves doing different voices. It is lovely to hear him, entirely lacking in any sense of  being self-conscious, singing at the top of his voice, purely for his own amusement. The rainbow song and 1,2,3,4,5 are some highlights of his repertoire, but my favourite is still hearing him call Humpty Dumpty "Hoppy Doppy", one of those childhood variations we have now all adopted.

However, despite his brilliant sense of humour, and his easy, beautifully affectionate nature with those he is close to, he also remains studiously inquisitive. We have taken him to a few children's theatre productions, and he watches intensely, taking in every detail, which he then animatedly recounts later. Given a new toy or in a new place he still likes to get to grips with how everything works, and with new books he listens intently and then likes to go back through pointing everything out. Books are a real shared love of us all, we go to the library each week, and I adore cuddling up with him reading stories, increasingly amazed by how many books he can recite off by heart. Favourites at the moment are the "What the Ladybird Heard" series, an "Alfie" book by Shirley Hughes which gave me all sorts of childhood nostalgia when he got it, and anything by Rachel Bright.

Given the chance he would be engrossed in a screen, and while it is nice to see him enjoying favourite programmes like In The Night Garden and Hey Duggee, I find it fascinating and worrying in equal measure how completely absorbed he becomes when they come on! Whilst I don't doubt the screen will be a useful diversion at times, particularly when the second baby comes along, I try to make sure it isn't how we spend the majority of our time, and also try to talk about things when we watch them. For his birthday, though, he got some toys with his favourite characters on, like a Peppa Pig tea set, and trains and books from In The Night Garden, and it has been lovely to watch him play with those. Diggers, blocks and tools are also popular, and he got out his own hammer and screwdriver to help his daddy put together some of his birthday toys! We also really noticed on holiday how much he loves exploring new places, be it a national trust garden, the seaside, or a playground, so we are trying to make it a more regular weekend activity to go out on "adventures" even if it just for a trip to a new park.

Our days have lots of little routines, which I love sharing with him. From a bath and a book before bedtime, saying goodbye to Millie when we leave, to going shopping, for breakfast and then swimming on our Wednesdays off together, I take joy in the tiny traditions we are creating. He chatters away, and I adore how we have got to the point of having proper conversations, and how well he communicates. We have, in recent months, entered the realms of pretend play, and his birthday gifts included a playhouse and kitchen, resulting in endless tea parties in the last few days. 

I won't pretend he is perfect, he can be cheeky, and gets giddy when he is tired. He has also developed an incredible skill for selective hearing, especially when tidying up or stopping doing something is involved. Tantrums are not unheard of, but currently aren't too frequent, and he can more often than not be quite quickly distracted. Bedtime and mealtimes can be a source of immense frustration, but not consistently so, and the vast majority of the time he makes parenting feel very easy. We haven't had too much experience of the irrational, illogical part of toddler personality yet (except one notable occasion when he cried because he wanted a yoghurt, while eating his yoghurt), though I am sure there is plenty to come.

He continues to be incredibly adaptable, having moved up to a new room at nursery this month with seemingly minimal fuss. It was incredible to watch through the door as he quickly joined straight in with new people in a new environment, and to hear how well he has settled in. On most days he eats really well, loves all sorts of fruit and quite a variety of vegetables, though at nursery he can be a bit hit and miss. He loves a "cappuccino" made of frothy milk, and is gradually trying more meat, though his favourite is definitely sausage. He absolutely has a sweet tooth, though for him the best part of his birthday cake has been blowing out the candles! He likes to help in the kitchen and will stir, pour, and join in as much as possible given the chance. He also loves to play in the sink, and can amuse himself for ages given a basin of water and lots of containers to splash about with.

My favourite picture from his birthday is the one above, because to me it represents so well what he has brought to our lives. He went around the whole of the zoo like this, arms flung wide as he dashed from one place to the next, the epitome of joy and excitement. It is such a daily revelation to see life through the eyes of a child, especially one who is so happy, and so open to the amazement of the world around him. He reminds me so frequently to giggle at the silliest things, to find awe and wonder in the simplest moments, to always be overjoyed to see those that you love and to not take anything too seriously, or for granted. I can't believe he has been part of our worlds for two years already, and I am so incredibly grateful for every single day we have had, and all that is to come.

first things first

The first of August.

The first time I've been here in quite a while. In some ways it is lovely to find this place unchanged, in other ways I'm desperate to give it an overhaul; but not tonight, not for now, just writing something feels maverick enough.

The first time actually pressing the publish button in many, many months, but not through neglect. Well, maybe a little bit of neglect, but I haven't forgotten this space. I have missed being here very much, I even have a few half written paragraphs all about trying and failing to post something, anything. Life has been busy, no more than anyone else's, but I have found myself just about making it through the days for such a long time that days became weeks became months, and the longer I was gone the harder it was to pop back. And now I am here and hopefully it will be easier to come back again soon.

The first post in a while on Instagram too, as I have joined in with the first day of the August Break prompts over on Instagram. A version of my first effort is above, but even trying to copy that picture onto here in a format that looked of vaguely decent quality felt a little beyond me tonight, operating on multiple devices as I am. I won't aim to post my attempts here each day but I do hope to join in on instagram this month, so you are welcome to go and view future efforts there if you like!

The first day today where I felt fully recovered from my decidedly middle aged injury last week in which I pulled a muscle in my back while looking at packets of herb seeds in a garden centre (having gone there for Sunday lunch and a spot of plant shopping). I have clearly not become any more rock and roll in my absence. Unfortunately I have immediately today managed to twinge my wrist picking up T and so I remain afflicted with minor aches and pains in a manner that is not quite fitting for a thirty two year old, let alone one who still thinks she is about nineteen.

The first week where I have been properly back at work after a lovely long break. We have been lucky to have numerous holidays since I last wrote, visiting Berlin, Madeira and just recently two weeks around South Wales and Hereford. I shall not delude myself that I am going to share some lovely posts about our adventures, much as I would like to it doesn't feel particularly realistic based on my current form, but we have had some wonderful family trips and it has been great to start exploring places further afield as a family.

The first month in which I will officially be the parent of a two year old. I'm not sure how that happened, and I will hopefully do a post around his birthday, but he remains equal parts cheekiness and loveliness despite growing up far too fast.

The first year in which I might officially be the parent of a two year old and a newborn. If all goes well we have a new arrival due in late December. If T sets an example for his new sibling, it could mean that we are actually into 2019 before it makes its appearance, but hopefully we have incredibly exciting times ahead.

And just like that the first post is done. I will try not to leave it so long next time, it is good to be back.

eighteen months

He turned eighteen months old this week. If anyone has any suggestions as to where exactly that time has gone I'd love to know!

He can walk, run and climb. The latter is a relatively new development, but he is using it constantly, making parenting a test of nerve and reflexes. He hasn't quite mastered jumping and the focus on his face when he sees someone else manage it is beautiful, as he tries to work out what he needs to do to make it happen.

He can eat and drink by himself, probably one his favourite past-times, and has become increasingly adventurous with food in recent weeks. He has a sweet tooth like his mummy, but will happily eat curries, soups and stews, as well as lots of fruit and veg.

He has mastered scribbling with a pen, as well as taking off pen lids, which is another test for those parenting reflexes, and his ability to open cupboards and drawers and reach ever-higher heights means that our "safe" places are becoming increasingly limited.

He has made huge progress with his language in recent weeks, which seems to have exploded out of nowhere. After months of wondering when he'd start to talk beyond lots of babbling, suddenly a whole vocabulary seems to have developed almost overnight. Mummy has finally made an appearance, along with the names of lots of his relatives, his nursery mates, lots of food  (pineapple was the first word I remember him saying clearly and suddenly realising he had definitely and deliberately copied me), as well as please, thank you, hello, goodbye, and get down, which is a particular favourite at the moment and makes shopping trips with him riding in the trolley slightly less relaxing than they used to be!

He is sleeping well, and just in the last few nights has taken to being put down in his cot awake and drifting off himself, when we realised he did this every day at nursery without any issue. He has taken to it with no problem at all, though I am feeling slightly bereft at no longer snuggling him to sleep each evening.

He is so much more than a list of milestones and achievements. It is easy, particularly as a first-time parent, to get caught up in each new skill; they come so quickly in these first years, and it is so exciting to witness each new stage of development. However, it can distract from the fact that a whole person is growing up in front of you. And what a person he is turning out to be.

He has a laugh that fills me with joy, and is incredibly happy. He usually wakes up smiling, chatting and pleased to see you, and loves to make others laugh too, watching you with a cheeky, expectant grin. Hide and seek, peek-a-boo and chase are all favourites.

He adores books, and will quite happily sit chatting to himself as he turns the pages. More often though he brings it to the nearest adult and reaches for cuddles and a story. He knows his favourites off-by-heart, and can join in with them even if we don't have the book, which has been particularly beneficial when stuck in long queues or in need of a distraction. Peepo, Goodnight Room, Each Peach Pear Plum and The Detective Dog are his top requests at the moment.

He loves to dance to music, and loves playing with water - even at mealtimes he gets caught up in pouring water between his cup and his bowl and splashing the resulting puddles everywhere. He has also started to join in with action songs which is lovely to see, though my fitness levels are being tested with repeated bouts of standing up, sitting down and running on the spot. I find Wind the Bobbin Up and Two Little Dickie Birds to be a little less involving!

He is quiet in new places, and when there are lots of people. I took him into my workplace when I was off recently, he didn't say a thing then promptly launched into lots of chatter the moment we left. He likes to take a situation in and get used to it rather than launch straight in. He also loves knowing how things work, pushing buttons, pressing switches, taking things apart and putting them back together. A little girl showed him a picture of teddy on the wall at the library, and gave it a hug and a kiss, which he dutifully copied. A little while later he wandered back over and gave the teddy another kiss, but then also started prodding the drawing pins trying to work out how they were keeping the picture on the wall.

He is becoming increasingly independent and determined, more sure of what he wants and keen to find ways to achieve it. He can be known to throw the occasional tantrum but is usually relatively easily diverted, though he definitely prefers to be on his own feet and exploring these days which can make trips out a test of physical endurance, and any opportunity for adult conversation tends to come in a few short bursts between following him into nooks and crannies and trying to avert disaster.

He is making the most of his new found voice, I doubt I will ever tire of hearing the word mummy and his smile as he says it, and every day at the moment seems to bring new words and new discoveries. He has settled wonderfully into nursery, which makes going to work much easier, and is reported to be a fan of messy play, eating and song time.

He is beautifully affectionate, gives incredible hugs, kisses and cuddles, and really loves his family. He is incredibly close to his grandparents, especially his great-grandad who is definitely his partner in crime, and its is wonderful to see. There is no better feeling than those few occasions when he has spontaneously reached up and given me a kiss without being asked, the love is indescribable. Millie is also the source of much of his energy, whether he is affectionately patting her, chasing her round, or feeding her contraband from his highchair. He seems to love all animals, gleefully pointing out doggies, dirbies (birds) and squirrels from the window, or on our walks, and likes to find, name and impersonate the animals in the pages of his favourite books (he does a particularly formidable Gruffalo growl at the moment).

He is amazingly laid-back. For all he is a bundle of energy, constantly on the go, I am repeatedly astounded by how easily he seems to adapt. Even big changes like stopping breast-feeding, or starting to go to sleep in his cot seem to be met with limited fuss. Starting nursery was a struggle, but that seemed more to do with being poorly, and as soon as he was on the mend, he took it to brilliantly. New routines and experiences don't seem to faze him and he remains constantly curious about the world around him.

He brings us absolute joy, and we feel very lucky to have such a loving, giggly, beautiful son. He is spirited, approaching life with gusto, and a confidence that has already taught me to be braver, more open to other people, more ready to see the good in the world, however simple all small. Life with him can be exhausting, and I am definitely not immune to the headache induced by an over-tired child, it is lovely to see his personality grow and to have the privilege to support him as he starts to navigate his way through life. He couldn't have made parenting any easier or more enjoyable and his cheeky charm makes every day brighter. We are utterly besotted, and can't wait to see what his future brings, and everything he is becoming.

first things first

The first of July.

I'm feeling good about July. June was not a great month, there were plenty of great moments, but overall it was, what I believe is formally known as a bit of a flop. Right at the start of the month we met a friend for breakfast, and the waitress put the teapot down right in front of T, who promptly grabbed it before we could and scalded his hand. I'm only grateful that he only managed to slosh a little out of the spout rather than tip the whole thing over himself, and that autopilot kicked in and I got him to the toilets and under cold water almost as soon as I registered it was happening. He is absolutely fine now, and the blister has disappeared entirely, with no scarring, but much of the month was filled with bandages, dressings, appointments, worry, and a huge cloud of parental guilt. Add in my first visit back to work, which went brilliantly, but was hanging over me until it happened, lots of other niggles, including the most obnoxious cold-caller I have ever spoken to, and it made for a tense month over all.

However, today is a new month, and things are feeling much brighter already. This morning our beginners' running club did their first 5k of non-stop running, and as we rounded the corner to the finish, the rest of the club who had set off on their usual run ahead of us, were stood applauding us home. It was such a lovely, happy moment, and having for so long thought of running as a solo activity, I am thoroughly enjoying seeing it as a social sport.

July is my mum's birthday, and our wedding anniversary, and this will be our first as parents, and her first as a gran. We have a week away with T planned for our anniversary, followed by a night away just the two of us, our first time away from T overnight! 

July is also, officially, my first weeks back at work, as my 12 months of maternity leave comes to an end (how time has flown!). I am very lucky because I accrue my annual leave and bank holiday entitlement, and so I now take that in one block, which means although I will happily start to get paid again, I won't be going back to work physically until September, which I can still pretend is ages away yet.

This week will bring with it a trip out with a new friend, the first time we will have made the jump from chatting at various baby groups to actually socialising just the two of us (and babies too!), and also my first trip to the second of two book groups I have joined at the library. After a visit from a friend from work on Friday, catching up for the first time in months, I'll also be seeing another old work friend for her birthday tomorrow, and so its the first time in a while I've been feeling rather sociable.

So yes, July is feeling good, today there was ice-cream, and the park, and The Husband tidied while I was running so the spare bedrooms suddenly look like bedrooms rather than storage rooms for the first time since T was born. Tonight there has been Dr Who, and now a movie night, with our furry girl snuggled between us.

Wishing you all a very happy July.

wonderful wednesday #9

I hope May is treating you well so far, it's time for another round up of some of the loveliness that's been going on round here:

The Breakfast Club: I met up with some close friends for breakfast in Manchester and it was lovely to see them and put the world to rights. As with last week, I'm finding that the early starts that come with parenthood are finally suiting me, and I was home just after 12 feeling like I still had most of the day left, while already having spent a good few hours in good company.

Impending Middle Age: My friends and I were reflecting on how life has changed since we were at university together, over 12 years ago. One friend was off to look at bathrooms that afternoon, while I was relishing in having no weekend plans. I did then manage to outdo her in the grown-up Saturday afternoon activity stakes by visiting a garden centre, and as I told them, taking an active interest in a rack of fleeces and waterproof jackets. There then ensued a conversation about the necessity of a good fleece and the joys of potential national trust membership. At least I am in good company!

Gardening: Just to further fit the stereotype, we returned from the garden centre and spent a happy hour in the garden. The Husband did some weeding, and I planted up our hanging baskets with plug plants we had ordered online. I also added some basil to my much-adored new herb pot, but this is my second attempt at planting a basil plant in amongst all of the other herbs, and it is looking like it may have failed again. 

Running: After a month's absence I have finally been back out on a few runs. The longer it goes the less inclined I am to start again, convinced that I will have lost any progress made, but actually, my pace has remained quite consistent with where I was at previously, and it has been rather enjoyable to get out for a quick burst of activity in the sunshine.

Library Love: I have always had a thing about libraries, my mum used to take me regularly when I was younger, at at University, I always felt most studious if I took myself over the library and holed up there. I love libraries, the peace, the sense of endless books to be read, and in the case of the university libraries I have visited the history within the walls. Having dropped out of using the library since starting work, yet reading more than ever in recent years, I have now rediscovered my love for them through T. I started by taking him to a session of songs and a story, which is twice a week at our local library. It is a brilliant activity, free, half an hour, and is one of the things we have done most consistently since he has been born. It was first attempt at any kind of baby group, and helped me build my confidence as a new parent venturing into the terrifying world of interacting with other parents! Since then, I have started to realise what a wealth of things I have been missing out on, and last weekend came home with a new recipe book and a DVD on loan. My favourite thing, though, is that it is the same library my mum used to take me to, and although it has changed in many ways, the layout, and the bright, welcoming children's room where we got to the class is the same one I used to spend hours in as a little girl. I love the fact that history is repeating in the nicest way.

f you would like to visit some of the others (highly recommended) then Sally is the originator of the idea, you can search for #wonderfulwednesday and these lovely folks all post too: Jo, Helen, Michelle, Sarah, Kate, Cat, Sam, El , Kerri, Mimmi, Martina, Isabelle. 

first things first

The first of May.

I love it when the first day of a month is a Monday, it just feels like everything is nicely lined up, but when the first day of the month is a Bank Holiday Monday, well hurrah, that's an added bonus, with the promise of an extra day as a family, and a shorter countdown until the weekend.

The first morning waking up after a sleep in fresh bedding, with a day stretching ahead, and no real plans.

The first day today, when I can indulge my sweet tooth, after sixty days without sugar (or crisps, or alcohol). More on that in another post, but I'm intrigued to see whether chocolate will hold the same appeal now, I feel like perhaps I have beaten the craving, but I'll see how the next few days go!

Unfortunately, while my diet has improved drastically, I haven't kept up with the running. Having taken a week off when I got poorly, it stretched on into two, and then three weeks, and now it is over a month since I have had the trainers on. Last night I ventured out on my first run, just a mini one, determined to get fit for the 10k I have planned in a few months time. It wasn't horrendous, and I've been walking 3-4 miles regularly taking T out and about to the park and the library, so I'm hoping that has helped. After my sister-in-law ran the London Marathon this year, I casually suggested to The Husband that we could look at doing one together, maybe in October. I might be mad, I don't think there is anything casual about a marathon, but we have both wanted to do one for a while, and I wonder if signing up might be the prompt we need. The Husband has started looking at running watches today, so I'm wondering if I may have tempted him. Watch this space!

This month also brings with it our first family holiday with our extended family. My cousin and his family, and my aunt and uncle are joining us, my parents and my grandad for a week in a holiday rental property. It seems to have come around quite quickly, and I am very excited, especially as the property has a swimming pool, games room, and cinema room. T might be a little young for table tennis or movie nights, but he loves swimming and I can't wait to be able to take him for a splash each day!

Saturday was the first time I had a girly meet up with my close uni friends since T has been born. Once they got over the shock of me, queen of the all-nighter and steadfast night owl suggesting meeting at 9am (oh motherhood, thou hast changed me), we arranged to have breakfast in Manchester. It was a beautifully sunny day, I made it to the train in plenty of time, had a glorious few hours catching up, and was home before T woke from his nap ready for his next feed. It felt like everything went to plan, and it is still a revelation for me to be able to go out for a few hours and not worry that he might be hungry, particularly as he was never great a taking a bottle. It was a long leisurely breakfast (much to the chagrin of the staff I think, as the place was packed!) and a brilliant catch up. 

Finally, on the train home, I started the first few pages of Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic. I haven't read her previous books though I had obviously heard of Eat Pray Love, but had read about this one a few times. It kept appearing in magazines, and I kept thinking it sounded interesting, and then I read a blog which referenced it, that I now can't for the life of me find (if it was you please tell me as I have hunted for it, and would love to link it back). I decided on a whim to buy it, and I'm glad I did. I did rather too many embarrassing snorts of laughter on the train, and the words have been popping up in my head, making me itch to pick it up and carry it on. It reminded me that the joy of being creative, in whatever guise that takes, is enough reason to carry on writing here, to carry on dusting off the calligraphy pens, to carry on trying to catch up with my camera projects. Not through a desire for comments, or approval, or popularity, but just through the joy that it brings me, the small pleasure I find, and so here I am.

Wishing you all a wonderful May, whether it be full of firsts, or enjoyable familiarity. 

wonderful wednesday #8

Back once again for another Wonderful Wednesday (I started writing that and I got intense flashbacks to this, which has simultaneously embedded itself in my head and made me feel very old indeed). Despite not being able to shake off another bout of the lurgy for nearly 2 weeks now (babies are germ factories it seems) there is plenty of wonderfulness to celebrate.

Baby Bliss: The picture above sums up the past week with my lovely little boy (with double chin artfully cropped out admittedly). He has been a delight this week, endless smiles and giggles, a particular fan, it transpires, of the chorus of Ruby by the Kaiser Chiefs (mostly the aahaahaahaahaaaah bit), still loves balls being thrown and caught with accompanying sound effects, and being swung around and tickled under his chin. He has now taken to eating with gusto, and I am much relieved, and spending increasing amounts of time trying to satiate his ever increasing appetite. We had quite a few weeks where everything was being spat out, and it brings me so much joy to see him enjoying (and swallowing!) food. Sleep has improved a little, or a least 4am starts are now 5am starts since the clocks have gone forward which feels much more humane somehow. This week has been all about the wonderful parts of parenting and I am feeling very lucky, and very in love!

Monday with Millie: On Monday night I took Millie to an obedience class. It is not that she has become particularly disobedient, if anything she is much better at ignoring other dogs when we are out walking, but I had a scary moment a few weeks ago where the lock on her extendable lead somehow failed as she pulled and she shot out into the road. She was absolutely fine but it shook me up, especially as just moments later two cars came whizzing past, and I had one of those what if moments for the rest of the night. Also, I wanted to start trying to make sure she had a bit of one on one time, as she has been so accepting of the massive change to home life in the form of T, and I thought it would be nice for her to get a bit of fussing and undivided attention. So it was, on a beautifully sunny evening, Millie and I were to be found in a field, with her getting lots of treats, praise and cuddles, plenty of fresh air, and I came home feeling very glad indeed for a bit of quality time with my lovely girl.

Family: It has been a real family effort while I've been ill, I actually took a sick day from parenting just over a week ago, and my parents took T for the day, so I could sleep and try to recover a little. I know not many people have that option, and I felt so very lucky to have them so close, so that I could still get a middle of the day cuddle with him, but at the same time give myself a fighting chance of feeling better. Although I'm still feeling grotty, that day was so very much appreciated, and it was good to think he was having a day of being spoilt and doted on by his grandparents rather than coughed at by a bleary eyed mum!

Gardening: For Mother's Day, The Husband bought me a bundle of things for our veg planter, and suggested that we start a tradition of planting some seeds each year on Mother's Day. Initially slightly sceptical at the idea of hard labour on a day I had more traditionally associated with pampering and relaxation, we had lunch at a local garden centre with my family, bought some additional herb pots, pansies and strawberry plants, and then spent a happy two hours in the sunshine sewing seeds, planting herbs, and listening to music while T played in his chair and Millie lay on the lawn. Followed up by a fancy meal at home and some time spent doing my nails, and he had planned a pretty perfect day. I love that every time I come in the front door, or look out the kitchen window I can see the pots we planted up, and hopefully the products of our labours will be a happy reminder of those few hours for the rest of the year. He's cleverer than I give him credit for sometimes!

If you would like to visit some of the others (highly recommended) then Sally is the originator of the idea, you can search for #wonderfulwednesday and these lovely folks all post too: Jo, Helen, Michelle, Sarah, Kate, Cat, Sam, El , Kerri, Mimmi, Martina, Isabelle. 

first things first

The first of March.

The first six months of parenthood to our incredible little boy. So at six months old, I wanted to take a minute to celebrate him exactly as he is at the moment, before any more firsts happen and another six months fly by.

He has the most incredible giggle, a real full-on chortle that lights up a room. His favourite thing in the world is Millie, and he quite often bursts out laughing just at the sight of her. He has started to recognise his family, and generally greets those he knows with a toothy grin. His bottom teeth have been through for a while, and we have the first top one emerging at the moment, so there has been plenty of drool, and some funny faces as he gets used to the new addition!

We are just venturing into the world of food, so he doesn't really have any favourites, except to say that if I have spent time peeling, cooking, blending and spooning something he is far less inclined to eat it than when my parents offer him a chew on some pear. When he does humour me, he wants to hold the spoon himself, and occasionally manages to get it somewhere near his mouth.

He got a walker from my parents for Christmas, and he is often to be found moving disconcertingly quickly around the kitchen in his wheels. He likes to make a beeline for anything dangerous, such as a hot oven, drawers open at head height, those kind of things. He also follows the dog around, to try and open drawers, and more recently has taken to sidling up to me and grabbing my cardigan to chew on.

He can sit up now, but mostly prefers to be on his front, and has mastered the art of shuffling backwards, which means he often reverses under the sofa until his bottom prevents him from going any further. He will sleep for ages as long as he is curled up against someone's chest, but when he is awake he has to be on the go, and will get grouchy unless you are moving him around and walking about the place. Nappy changes are becoming an increasingly complex operation, as he doesn't want to lie on his back at all any more, and has taken to strewing the contents of his changing table about. Being showered with cotton wool balls while trying to fasten a nappy around a back to front baby feels like some kind of weird game show and all the things that were conveniently placed nearby are now having to be moved further and further out of reach.

He has absolutely no routine whatsoever, with the exception of having a bath and a book around the same time each evening. Sleep, both at night and during the day, is still largely unpredictable, and he can't bring himself to go to sleep if there is something more interesting going on. No matter how sleepy he is, he will keep himself awake if he gets the impression he might be missing out. He has been droopy-eyed as we have arrived at the library, but the minute the singing session starts he is wide awake and bouncing around again. Christmas Day and my birthday meal both found him awake long past his usual times because he could tell there was fun to be had! He does seem to have moved into his own room without much fuss at all, but I haven't quite brought myself to put away the travel cot from our bedroom yet!

He has just started to join in a bit more when we go out, and has started squealing along to the songs at the library, and also splashing me with alarming gusto in the swimming pool. It is lovely to be at the point where he is starting to interact, as usually when something is new he quietly takes it all in, which meant the first few swimming trips felt a lot like I was moving him around in the water while he looked at me somewhat nonplussed. Now I have no idea what he looks like because he keeps drenching me with water and laughing!

He has a few songs that he definitely likes, mainly the ones that involve lifting him up and down very energetically, and I am anticipating that I will soon have biceps of steel. He found me swinging a sock about disproportionately hilarious yesterday, and after a morning where he had been particularly unsettled, this raucous laughter suddenly broke through at the simple act of sliding a sock around the bed and absolutely made my day. We have lots of songs, a song for getting him dressed (the hokey-cokey), a song for putting socks on (an adapted version of once I caught a fish alive) which we sing a lot, and the theme tune to the crystal maze is a sure fire way to a smile. He likes train noises, which I have just discovered works particularly well for teeth brushing, a very exaggerated version of the ABC song, and my night time concerts tend to include Elbow, Travis, and more recently the full length version of American Pie which I now know word perfectly.

Life as a parent is so all-encompassing. It feels like we talk of little else, and the smallest things take on such huge significance. He has grown so very much, and there is something miraculous about seeing this little person that you have made gradually discover the world before your very eyes. He loves playing with his feet, and studying his hands, all normal, typical baby things, but seeing the gradual transitions up close really bring it home how fascinating human development is.

 I don't find motherhood easy at times, the introvert in me is having to get used to the fact that quiet alone time is a thing of the past unless I very deliberately seek it out, but I do find being his mum the most natural thing in the world. I love the way his head rests on my shoulder, how he wraps his arms around my neck, and that he has started placing his hands on top of mine when I'm doing the actions to songs. As much as the middle of the night waking is tough, I find something so peaceful sitting in the dark stillness as he drifts back off in my arms, and often sit up longer than I need to relishing the quiet bubble and the cuddles as he clings to me in his sleep. I love seeing my close family in new ways, he brings so much joy to those around me, and it is so special to see. Watching The Husband be such an amazing dad is incredible, even if T did utter something that sounded suspiciously like DaDa the other day, which I am trying not to be too perturbed by! Motherhood hasn't made me any better at small talk, or any better at walking into a group of people and making instant friends, but it has made me more confident, more independent, more proactive, and has given me a sense of strength. I would do anything in the world for him, and love him so fiercely it surprises me. 

I think he is going to be mischievous, and a bundle of energy. I expect to need eyes in the back of my head, and lightning reflexes. I already feel that I am wearing new glasses that highlight potential danger everywhere I look, and home seems to suddenly be awash with sharp corners and protruding edges. If his current personality is anything to go by though, he seems to be a very happy, content little boy, loving, giggly, and so very excited by the world, long may it last.

word of the week

Well this is probably more a word of the fortnight, or perhaps even longer! Since I last wrote here it feels like lots and lots has happened, and while I'm not quite sure how February is nearly over, at the same time we seem to have crammed lots in to the shortest month!

The day before my birthday we got the brilliant news that The Husband had successfully been offered a new job. It is a promotion and a move to a new organisation, so it is an incredibly big achievement, and I am amazingly proud. It was a fabulous start to a long weekend of celebrations. We went on a bear hunt on my birthday (although I was sad to read the attraction has closed permanently after Storm Doris), it was a fun way to spend some time as a family, and then we had a lovely meal with my parents and Grandad at night.

We have also been to visit the church where we got married for a lovely mass, and then our wedding venue for a coffee. It felt special to be back and have our little boy with us. Valentine's day included a family 5k run as part of the running challenges I have been doing, and a meal at home.

The last week has also marked six months since our little boy was born, and in fact it turned out to be exactly a year since we told people I was pregnant at my 30th birthday party! After 6 months it's about time I actually decided what to call him on here, so I'm going to go with his initial, T, for want of anything more original! He is now sleeping in his cot in his nursery, and it felt like a big step for him to move out of our room, though a full night's sleep is proving elusive still! We also started the first steps to weaning but it has not been as straightforward as I expected, with lots of mess, and quite a lot of coughing and vomiting. A much thinner apple puree seems to have been more successful the last few days, but still only a morsel at a time! He is full of a cold, and teething too (we have a first top tooth making its appearance), so I'm pretty sure that must be playing part, and writing this I realise that it's less than a week since he first tried any food at all, so perhaps we are not doing too badly really! I didn't really get in to the habit of doing milestone posts when I was pregnant, or since he has been born, but I may yet do a six month one (albeit a little late) as I feel it will be nice to look back in the future and read what he was like at this age, particularly as we looked at his first outfits tonight and were shocked (and a little teary) at how much he has grown already.

My lovely Grandad has had quite a few scans and hospital appointments in recent weeks, and is also recovering from the same cough that seems to have laid most of us low repeatedly since Christmas. He is doing well otherwise, and if he wasn't having any tests we wouldn't know that there was any need for him to be seen, but it is always worrying seeing a loved one going through appointments and scans, especially when it's someone like my Grandad who is always so fit and well. Luckily we have had lots of happy trips too, including a brilliant concert at the Bridgewater Hall with him, and a fabulous night seeing Sheridan Smith in Funny Girl.

This week there have also been surprise visits from my best friend, new bedding purchased and duvet dry cleaning after an early morning vomiting explosion from T, and the usual swimming and library trips. I also managed to catch up with A Year with My Camera reading this weekend, and made some actual notes in a new notebook with pretty pens, which was a fun way to spend half an hour. I realise this has mostly turned into a diary post, but I wanted to spend some time reflecting on everything that has happened recently. This week has been quite tough at times, between the teething, the vomiting, the clean-up operations and the appointments for my Grandad, so it has been a lovely way to end the week realising how much the good stuff far outweighs any of the less positive parts. Having said that, I have just also realised that in order to finish my February challenge I need to do 8 miles in the next 2 days, so perhaps the whirlwind isn't over just yet!!

wonderful wednesday #6

In true Sesame Street style, this week's Wonderful Wednesday is brought you by the letter C.

Coriander: I made a recipe at the weekend that needed coriander, and my parents picked me up a bunch while out shopping. I love coriander and have happily incorporated it into lots of different recipes, including fajitas, chicken and coconut curry, and has also been livening up my lunches. It always makes me feel a little bit fancy having fresh herbs, although I tend to be a little overliberal with my sprinkling, as the picture above attests.

Cuddles: This morning I woke up with a headache, and so, I chose to stay in my pyjamas, and when the baby took a nap I actually followed the sleep when the baby sleeps advice. It was a lovely snooze on the sofa, snuggled under a blanket, with the dog snoring gently by my side, and I woke up feeling all the better for it. The novelty of cuddling a sleeping baby has still not worn off, and I love the evenings where he drifts off in my arms after his bath, all damp hair and smiles in his sleep.

Cake: Obviously, cake is always good, but this week my mum and I baked, and it was the first time I had baked in a while. It was a successful, and simple, orange drizzle cake, and it was lovely to spend an hour baking together, and also having cake to eat at the end of it! 

Comments: Thank you to all of you for lovely comments on my recent posts. I will reply soon, but it is always encouraging to feel like your words are being read. I sometimes worry that perhaps this blog is too superficial and borders on the saccharine at times, so despite venturing briefly into the more serious realm this week, many of your comments served as a reminder that I can make what I want of this little space and it isn't a reflection of a lack of interest in the wider world if I choose to focus on the positive here. 

Classes: I went to a session on weaning run locally, and my mum came along too. It was quite helpful, if only to reassure me that I've been doing the right things so far, and it is exciting to think in a week or so we can start introducing the baby to food. I always sit him in the kitchen when I'm cooking, and generally have to sing and talk my way through every ingredient to stop him getting restless, so I'm looking forward to him being able to have a taste too. He is also at the point now where he seems to be interacting more when I take him to things. He starts bouncing very excitedly when we go the singing and reading session at the library (though I am certain his overenthusiastic rattle waving is going to cause another child an injury). Friday was also the first time I have taken him swimming where he did more than just let me move him around, having discovered the joy of splashing, I spent most of the session wiping water out of my eyes, and having my first experience of show-off parenting as I kept trying to strategically swim nearer to the instructor so that she would notice, and compliment, his first attempts at kicking (it didn't work).

Camera: I know this is becoming a bit of a frequent mention, but I really enjoyed taking part in #1day12pics again on Saturday, and I have also started to take my camera with me just a little more regularly. My parents and I took the dog and the baby to the park yesterday, and we also went out for lunch with my Grandad today, and both times I picked up the camera on the way out, with some encouragement from my mum. I didn't take lots of pictures, but I'm glad I'm starting to carry it with me without feeling pretentious, and that I'm enjoying playing with it and trying to remember what I've learnt.

If you would like to visit some of the others (highly recommended) then Sally is the originator of the idea, you can search for #wonderfulwednesday and these lovely folks all post too: Jo, Helen, Michelle, Sarah, Kate, Cat, Sam, El , Kerri, Mimmi, Martina, Isabelle.