word of the week #15

It has been a strange week. There was the enjoyment of easter and the long weekend, lovely to spend time with family and have a break. However last week we got some news that a family friend had died suddenly, in an accident, leaving behind a young family.

It is desperately sad and I have found myself in an uneasy mood all week. It is something about that very sudden loss of life, the instantaneous nature of it, a moment between being living and dying, how immediately we can cease to be. I remember feeling very similar when someone at my university died suddenly in an accident. It is something other than grief, it is a sense that seems to creep under my skin and make me uncomfortable for a while. Whilst living each day as if it is your last can be galvanising, thinking that in any one second a life can be over without warning is somehow paralysing.

I know the mood will pass, the sadness at the loss will remain, but the fear about life's fragility will fade. For now though, I am grateful to have the means to express my thoughts here. I realise it isn't a cheerful read for anyone else, but even the act of articulating what I am feeling somehow makes it more easily overcome. We are away for the weekend, I went to work this morning in England and we will fall asleep now in Brussels, a city we have visited before and enjoyed very much. I am looking forward to the familiarity of this place, coupled with the change in mood that comes with a change in scenery. Some exploring with The Husband, and some easier days ahead. 

history repeating

(Bloc Party - Coliseum)

I took this picture exactly a year ago. This morning I got off the train, walked to work, and saw the same blue sky overhead. This same building, it's features emphasised by sunlight, caught my eye today as it must have done twelve months earlier. It is reassuring to see this constancy, to recognise that the small things that brought me happiness today, that started my day with a smile, will remain. The little joys are easy to find, and I am glad I continue to see them, to celebrate the everyday.

the year in books: april

Such good books last month, and all really different too. I seem to have had a good run of books so far this year.

“When I am optimistic, I choose to believe that every life I lead, every choice I make, has consequence. That I am not one Harry August but many, a mind flicking from parallel life to parallel life, and that when I die, the world carries on without me, altered by my deeds, marked by my presence.” 

I wasn't sure how I would find this book, I thought it sounded similar in concept to Life After Life, as I mentioned here. I got more into this book as I went along, and was really engaged with it by the end. As with Life After Life, something about the repeating life plot wasn't overly appealing to me, but I felt this novel addressed it differently and it caught my imagination more. I have handed this one on to The Husband, as I definitely think this would appeal to him.

"I have an awful feeling I’m supposed to know, and that this is some kind of treat. I don’t think it’s my birthday, but perhaps an anniversary. Patrick’s death? It would be just like Helen to remember and make it a “special occasion.” But I can see from the bare trees out on the street that it’s the wrong time of year. Patrick died in the spring."

I thought this book was fabulously written, with an excellent plot. It was such an interesting concept to have the narrator as someone in the early stages of dementia, and the overlapping timelines were really effective. It was written in a really empathetic way, with moments of dark humour, but also a really captivating presentation of the experience of being affected by the condition.

"Melanie thinks: when your dreams come true, your true has moved. You've already stopped being the person who had the dreams, so it feels more like a weird echo of something that already happened to you a long time ago."

This is absolutely not a book I would ever have picked, it was one The Husband bought me having read good reviews, and I was so glad he did. It was absolutely gripping, I couldn't put this down, and it was one of those books that actually made me look forward to the commute just to carry on reading it. It is apparently being turned into a film and that doesn't surprise me. 

My first book of April, which may, ahem, actually already be finished thanks to an Easter Sunday afternoon reading in the sunshine, is Us by David Nicholls, writer of Starter for Ten and One Day.

Linking up with Laura's The Year in Books Project

project 365: week 14

88. Sunday night and ending the weekend curling up in bed with a new book.

89. Another book, I'm afraid taking photos seemed to fall by the wayside this week. I managed to take one or two each day but very few were taken intentionally for the photo a day project, so apologies for the somewhat dull content.

90. And as if to prove my point, here is an attempt, as I mentioned, to get a vaguely interesting picture from a bunch of photographs I had taken at a conference. I couldn't quite bring myself to put up a picture of a powerpoint slide, and so somehow thought a close up of the projector in the corner of the shot was an improvement. I can only apologise!

91. Two tone flowers adding some colour to the bedroom.

92. Out to dinner with Mum, and a quick snap of the plant on the table before an evening catching up.

93. Friday night doing my word of the week doodling with Millie for company, looking somewhat unimpressed. 

94. Beautiful silhouettes at sunset.

Linking in with The Boy and Me

recipe: easter macaroon nests

The online world seems to go into a frenzy around Easter, and I was feeling the peer pressure. To me Easter is usually quite low-key, and although we are having Sunday lunch with my grandad tomorrow we didn't have much else planned.

I was getting quite envious of all the treats filling the internet, and felt compelled to try and rustle something up. First step, eggs, obviously it would seem something of a missed opportunity to omit the eggs at Easter.

Second step, some kind of Easter theme, bunnies, lambs, chicks, something baby animal related seem to be the most popular choices. I went even younger, and opted for eggs (again) - with the added bonus that they were pre-made, as it was lunchtime on Easter Saturday and I was in definite need of a quick win.

So what could I do, quickly, with the ingredients in my cupboard, that would magically turn into an Easter treat with the simple addition of some mini chocolate eggs I acquired from the supermarket during the my weekly food shop. Even more ideal was if it was something both grandad and The Husband would enjoy.

Lo and behold, coconut macaroons were fashioned into nests, and that is what I consider an Easter themed baking success. I'm very proud of these little treats, especially as they were quick, easy, and macaroons also happen to be one of the sweets my Grandad remembers his mum making for him when he was younger. Happy faces all round. And obviously, if you only get round to reading this recipe sometime next week, the macaroons are just as quick, simple and tasty without the mini eggs stuck on top.

These were very small chocolate eggs that I found in a jar at the supermarket - mixed with jelly snakes for some unknown reason, unless snakes are an Easter tradition that has passed me by, not the standard size "Mini Eggs" just so you don't think these are gigantic macaroons - I have done a helpful size comparison photograph below for your enjoyment.

I'm sure I'm not the first to think of these, in fact a quick google of Easter macaroon nests as I write this blog has shown me that plenty of people have done these before. However I am not going to let that dampen my pride! So if you are in need of a quick, store-cupboard, (also happens to be gluten free) Easter dish to stop you feeling entirely lacking in the festive food department, here's the recipe for you. Whether you bake or not over this long weekend, I hope you have a very Happy Easter.

Easter Macaroon Nests

Makes 18 Macaroons, Prep Time 10 Minutes, Cooking Time 20 Minutes

Ingredients

280g unsweetened desiccated coconut

3 egg whites

180g caster sugar

1 tsp vanilla essence

1/2 tsp salt

Approx 75 (very) mini chocolate eggs 

Recipe

• Preheat oven to 180°C. Line three baking trays with non-stick paper.
• Separate three eggs, and put yolks aside. Lightly whisk the egg whites and add sugar, vanilla and salt. Stir to combine.
• Add coconut to egg white mixture and mix well until coconut is sticky but not wet.
• Using two teaspoons, or your hands, split mixture into 18 evenly sized mounds, placing 6 on each baking tray, well spaced apart.
• Use your thumb to make a small indent into the centre of each, to create the nest, and shape the sides slightly if required.
• Bake in the oven for 15-20 minutes until lightly browned.
• Cool for 5-10 minutes. Place 4-5 chocolate eggs in each macaroon nest, and serve.

word of the week #14

Last weekend was spent creating a photobook of our Australia holiday, looking back through pictures of our trip. It was lovely to think back on our adventures and did make me wish for another holiday. Luckily we have a weekend break coming up soon so not too long to wait!

In the meantime this week has definitely been a break from the usual days in the office. There was a day working from home which always represents a bit of light relief from the commute. Then there was a day at a meeting with all of my old colleagues. My year on this placement comes to an end in August and I will be returning back to my previous role. It was lovely to be back amongst old friends and catching up both personally and professionally. It has made me feel really positive about returning, as well as grateful for the brilliant opportunities I have had this year.

On Wednesday I spent my lunch break catching up with a neighbour. We both work quite near each other and have been trying to make arrangements to meet up over lunch for what seems like ages. It was a lovely hour having a chat and much better than a sandwich at my desk!

A break from the norm last night as my mum came to meet me from work and we went for a delicious dinner just the two of us. It isn't common that we catch up these days without the men in our lives around and so it made a really nice change to relax over a meal and share the evening together.

And today the start of the wonderful long weekend. There is baking, cleaning, running, day trips, cooking and relaxing all planned. Starting today with food shopping and an afternoon with mum and millie doing crosswords and cuddling in front of the fire while The Husband, Mal and Grandad were all at the rugby (all had gone separately and supporting opposite sides!). A brilliant break ahead over this Easter weekend. Hope you all have a lovely few days.

first things first

The first of April.

The first full month of spring but alas so far April showers appear to be dominating. So a picture instead from February walks with Millie which feels much more appropriate.

The first day of post haircut regret. I got a very short haircut last weekend and it had been so far so good. As is always the way trying to do it myself wasn't quite as successful but it was passable. Then today came the inevitable oversleep and trying to make short bed head look vaguely professional when tying it up wasn't an option was an utter failure. No more lie ins for me!

The first time, probably ever, I have got to a pace of less than 9 minutes 30 per kilometre. I am at the alternating running and walking stage so whilst I know this isn't any great speed it is definite progress for me, and during the running segments I was getting to under 7 minutes. It was cold, wet, dark and entirely unappealing but thanks to The Husband agreeing to bring Millie for a walk and be a cheerleader following behind me I made it out and was pleased that I did.

The first day (yesterday) that I forgot about project 365. Luckily I had taken some pictures at a conference so I have tried to turn one of those into something vaguely interesting! I don't know that I have succeeded but I was glad I hadn't spoiled the run as I've been really enjoying taking part.

And now for the first early night of the month, with the hope of getting back into a better routine of early mornings. Oversleeping today highlighted how much I missed being in the rhythm of getting up early. I felt so much better  when I got back from Australia and was naturally getting up bright and happy in the morning but it has gradually slipped away over recent weeks especially after a few late nights, a bout of illness, and compounded now by the clocks going forward. So here's to the first night of a new body clock, though I might not be so easily persuaded in the morning!