sunday sense check #2

(I know it's actually Monday, but I had a spare 5 minutes to write this today, and I like my alliterative title too much to change it so forgive me the slight artistic licence!)

Seeing

This weekend we watched Concussion with Will Smith, curled up in bed on Saturday night (just re-read that sentence and should clarify Will Smith was in the film, not curled up in bed with us). It was a film I had seen the trailer for a good year or so ago and I really enjoyed it. It was the true story of an immigrant pathologist who identified the disease process that caused long-term health problems in American Football players due to their numerous head injuries, and the difficulties he faced trying to get the findings taken seriously by the profession. It was  involving without being too dark, and I thought it was brilliantly acted. On the subject of dark, The Husband has been watching the latest series of Black Mirror. He tends to filter the episodes for me, as it is often over the edge of what I find entertaining, as thought-provoking as they are. I thought the ones I did watch were as clever as always, and am intrigued to see where it goes next.

Hearing

Still coughing. T is mostly better but still is prone to coughing until he vomits each night so we are getting through a lot of washing. The Husband is still going with it too, especially at night, so not much sleep is being had round here one way or another. I'm feeling much better now though, which is something positive! On a chirpier note, I can't get this song out of my head, and there have been lots of dances around the kitchen with T when it comes on the radio. I'm usually a stickler for lyrics, if you've ever seen the film I Give It A Year, there is a running joke about misheard lyrics that is very true to life. The Husband's inability to ever sing the right words to a song is hilarious or frustrating depending on my mood! I was guilty of it myself with this song though, singing quite enthusiastically about being a "rebel with a kickstand" for rather longer than I care to admit.

Smelling

Candles again, I have a "Relax" candle lit as I type, and it is lovely. It is also helping disguise the pervading smell of the fish we had for dinner. I always wonder why I don't cook more fish and then the aroma clings afterwards and I remember!

Tasting

We went out for breakfast on Sunday to our local garden centre. I had been up since 5 with T, and we had our first breakfast around 6, so when The Husband suggested a trip out at 10 I was more than happy to let someone else cook a proper breakfast. I did do dinner for us and Grandad later on, so I got some time in the kitchen, having reflected on Instagram this week that I miss it when I don't make time to cook in a more relaxed way.

Feeling

I'm feeling a little done with January already. I try very hard not to wish time away, ever conscious of how precious it is, but I am ready for us all to be feeling back to full health and getting a bit more sleep. I've got an exam in a week that I haven't started revising for and I've also got a hospital procedure due at the end of the month which I'm keen to get over and done with just so that I can stop worrying that something might go wrong. It feels like there is a lot to "get through" in the next few weeks, and as though we are just trying to survive the days rather than being the shining examples of ourselves we hope to start the year as. However, it is good to be here, taking a little time to light a candle, snuggle with the dog, and write a few words. The house feels like home, we have a gentle week ahead and I am headed for a reasonably early night after a lovely day spent with T. 

sunday sense check

Seeing

Yesterday The Husband and I went to watch the latest Star Wars film at the cinema while my parents kindly had T for the day. The Husband despairs at how many classic films I have not seen, so over the Christmas break he brought me up to date will all 7 Star Wars films so that I could go with him to see number 8 and fully appreciate it! I really enjoyed it, and it was lovely to have some time just the two of us, even managing to go for breakfast before it started.

Hearing

Coughing, mostly! Mine has gradually settled after a few sleepless nights, but as I write this T is napping and his coughing is punctuating the silence. I'm hoping it won't be long until we have all beaten the bug once and for all, I don't know many people who haven't had it and it seems to be lingering a little.

Smelling

Freshly made coffee, courtesy of The Husband. This week I've also been making more of an effort to use some of the beautiful candles I have in almost every room of the house. I'm terrible at actually getting round to lighting them, but it makes such a difference to the mood.

Tasting

We seem to have eaten a lot of pizza this week, and we are rapidly discovering that what used to serve two of us comfortably is now having to be portioned out for three, as T has decided he takes after his daddy in his love of pizza. After lots of treats over Christmas I am having another period off sugar, just to break some of the habits I had returned to.

Feeling

I've been a little out of sorts these past few days, and it's been hard to put my finger on why. On a very superficial level I got a new phone and I always find the few days of transferring my number and getting re-set up can be a little tricky, especially at the moment while some of my accounts seem to be struggling to migrate across. I think more than that is the self-imposed pressure to start the year off on a positive, which for me means productive, note. I've devised a carefully drawn up plan of how and when I'm going to achieve all the different things I want to each week, be that calligraphy, photography, blogging, running or a host of other things. While I think it's good for me to recognise what things matter to me, and make time for them, I can start the year feeling under pressure to fill every minute. Particularly as we recover from our bugs, and get back into the swing of daily life after the break, I've gradually this week realised that it's just as good for me to have some earlier nights, later starts, and some moments of quiet that don't need to be filled with achievements. On that note I might make the most of what is left of nap time and sit peacefully with my book!

first things first

The first of January, the first day of a new week, month and year.

The first post for some time. It is strange to be back, I don't think I've ever had such a lengthy absence from blogging since I started, and I'm not altogether sure what happened. I suppose it was the realities of returning to work, balancing being a professional and a parent and the myriad of minutiae inbetween that insidiously absorb time until suddenly whole months have passed. In another way, though, I never really stopped. I have taken so many pictures, captured so many moments, written so many words in recent months, but all in my head. My commute to work is a particular source of creativity, as I have drafted whole posts, walked across a city playing with words and phrases that never made it beyond my imagination. I have stopped, for a fraction of moment, to notice a skyline, a shadow, a sunrise and taken a mental image, having neither the time nor the confidence to stop amongst the rush hour crowds and capture it properly.

I have often reflected that in some ways that is enough; to have developed the reflex of noticing, and appreciating, the tiny moments of the world around me, is positive in itself without actually needing to record it. In some ways it feels more genuine to acknowledge such sights, indulge in some internal wordplay, for the enjoyment alone, and not out of a need to share it, or in the hope of some form of feedback. Yet, despite that, here I am, because I missed the act of making some of those words and pictures more permanent, and in a time of promising to start new habits, I felt strongly that it was time to revisit one that has brought me joy.

This is the first post written on my new tablet-laptop hybrid that The Husband kindly got me for Christmas, having listened to me lament that if I was ever going to manage to blog again I needed to work out a way of doing it more efficiently. It is not the writing that I have issue with (ok, sometimes I dither and fret about whether the whole thing is cringingly self-indulgent as I hover over the publish button), but it is more what I believe is technically called workflow. I'm hoping this new set up might well make things more straightforward, but we shall see. I'm still wondering whether to move from blogger, and whether to scrap the whole thing and begin again, as there is so much I would change if I was starting from scratch now, but we shall see.

I also had my first ever attempt at a bullet journal today (blogger cliché bingo anyone?!). Rather than a whole new journal I have used the neglected squared paper in the back of my Filofax, yes I am still old-school when it comes to stationery, and have drawn up a few rudimentary pages. I will see how it goes, I can see it being a wonderful source of procrastination as I face an imminent exam in January.

And so the first awkward attempt at ending a blog post for 2018, hopefully I will be back again soon. Hopefully I will also revisit some much-loved and much-missed blogs in the coming weeks too. There is much to catch up on, but for now, Happy New Year.